So 1st of April! Wow how times fly when you are having fun! Today marks a lot of things for me this year; anniversary with husband (a recurring thing of course), start of campnanowrimo, start of A-Z challenge and start of a new job which will potentially lead to moving closer to friends and family and finally leaving university life behind. It is all a bit overwhelming, exciting and probably a lot to juggle at the same time, but might as well keep myself busy right?
For camp I writing 25k based on the story i linked a couple of weeks ago; Prey tell if you have not read it.
Today's challenge letter is A for Amanda Palmer. People who have followed me through various versions of this blog might have discovered that she is one of my favorite artists. In danger of sounding like a cliche her songs seem to reach me on a deeper level and can always brighten up my day. It is hard for me to chose which song is my favorite, so I picked the one that suits my mood right now:
On my mind
Monday 1 April 2013
Sunday 10 March 2013
Fiction uhm... Sunday.
Because I have been absolutely swamped with life's weird curve-balls the last two weeks I have yet to actually post anything for fiction Friday. Today I was catching up with the blog-sphere that we writers frequent and pretend to not manically follow to every last letter when it comes to advice. One of the ones I have stuck with for ages is Terrible Minds by Chuck Winding. This weeks flash challenge provided us with a random sentence generator that would inspire us to write our story.
Seeing as I have feeling a bit meh about my writing skills lately I decided to take a chance and presto I had a 1000 words in little over an hour that I was pretty satisfied with myself. Maybe it will turn out to be a longer story as it kind of doesn't have a real ending but more of a teaser. It is an idea from back when I was beginning to contemplate writing steampunk/urban LGBT stories (haven't quite given up on the idea yet) that didn't evolve into what I wanted from it.
I drew the following lines from the random generator btw:
An arc swears on top of the satellite
The bust reads against the young passenger
On top of whatever method cracks the respective applicant
The essence turns outside the symbolic bias
Over the blame staggers a misfortune
A homosexual turnround gossips over an icon
This alleged exponential forgets the complex
A grandmother positions the scope
Within the girlfriend turns a crown
The snack thinks?
And I went with the last one after much deliberation and help from the husband. Hitman grandmother was a close second though. Maybe I will write that for next time. Without more chit-chat here is the story I got out of my sentence. As usual please comment here on my blog, on my facebook page C.B Rabbich or even send me an email
Prey tell?
Victoria caught the eye of most men and some
women stood in line outside the Hellraiser, New York’s hottest club of the
moment. Well aware of the effect her powers would have on them she flicked her
hair playfully as she strode to the front of the queue. Her pale skin, bright
blue eyes and most importantly her long slender ears that marked her as one of
elder races immediately earned her the respect she sought after and she was let
in.
Adjusting the strap of her dress slightly she flashed a smile at the wardrobe
dweeb and was allowed to bring her bag with her into the dark of the club. It
was early in the evening but already the place was packed with 20-somethings
dancing to some horrible droning music that Victoria had no love for.
Some of the older members of the council preferred to go to posher clubs
where all the humans were screened first for suitability or went to markets
which sold imported goods, but she had no time or use for such an expensive
pet. She was young and not so dependent on feeding, so she was doing fine on a
steady diet of small snacks. Besides, she enjoyed the thrill of the hunt and
the fact that her snacks did not need to be the sniveling butt-kissing type of humans
that followed their masters everywhere in order to soak up a little bit of the
glamour of the Elven High court. Her way also meant that the pathetic humans
would flock to her and practically throw themselves at her feet, but she would
have a choice and tried to always go for the curious but not convinced types
which would give their goods up willingly but who, out of fear, wouldn't try
and contact her again to achieve the same reward of ecstasy she knew they felt
during her feeding.
She surveyed the room hoping to find some eye-candy that was not too
dolled up and her eyes fell on a small group of women nervously looking around
the room themselves. It was clear from their ridiculous hair accessories and
pink t-shirts that they were here only because the bride-to be, now seen with a
somewhat similar blonde girl grinding against several men on the dance floor,
had requested they go here. Victoria guessed that most of them were drinking
none alcoholic drinks and would like nothing better than to be home in their
beds curled up with a period romance. They would be easy to convince without
over-using her powers and would no doubt prefer to go back to their dull lives
and forget everything that happened tonight. One girl in particular caught her
attention. Petite and dark haired, the girl’s features reminded Victoria a lot
of someone she knew but she couldn’t quite connect the dots. In her long life
she had met many people and eventually, she resolved while she started her walk
towards a free table close to the group, there were bound to be humans that
bore resemblance to each-other. The girl raised her head and looked directly at
her and Victoria could see the cogwheels working inside that pretty little head
of hers. Normally humans would break contact as soon as they realized what she
was, but this one just stared unnerved by the presence of an elder. The snack thinks? Interesting. The game
was on.
She sat down but kept her eye-contact with the girl. Victoria felt a
shiver of something run down her spine. Was it fear or lust? It was a long time
since she had been afraid of anything. She had been blessed with good looks
which meant that as long as humans existed she would never struggle to find
willing subjects that didn't mind sacrificing a bit of their life-energy to her
in exchange for just being in her presence. The girl stood up and excused
herself to her friends who were either texting or watching the soon to be bride
on the dance floor with disinterest. Her
prey was coming to her and she had not used any of her powers. This was rare…
As the girl sat down on a vacant chair at her table, Victoria felt only
the tiniest amount of fear in her inner being. Something about this young woman
was not quite right. The music switched, as on cue, to a slow ballad.
“I’m Karen.” The human made no gesture to shake hands.
“Victoria Azenda.” Karen nodded.
“I know who you are.” Victoria’s eyes widened slightly at this. She
always chose different clubs, different towns, and different days. Had she seen
this girl before and lost the memory of her somewhere in the haze of the many
feeds?
“Have I?...”
“No, you have not fed on me. But that is why you are here right? To
feed?” Victoria could only manage a slight nod of the head. Her snack really did
think. Karen continued.
“We need each-other Victoria Azenda, more than you think. You need to
feed and I need information. It should be a fair trade.” Victoria narrowed her
brows. Who was this human to demand anything of her? She reached for her purse
but Karen stopped her with a warm hand on her arm that sent surges of power
through Victoria like she had never felt before that made her gasp for air.
“What… are you?”
“I am the only thing standing between you and a terrible evil that has
just been unleashed. They are coming for each and every one of you and there is
nowhere you can hide!”
Victoria took a sharp intake of breath as she yet again locked gaze with
the young woman and suddenly understood who she was.
“How is that possible?” Karen flashed a smile not quite human.
“Oh I think you will find that my father has many secrets and I am just
the cherry on the top of the delicious ice-cream.”
Wednesday 6 March 2013
World-food Wednesday - Ideas for sushi
Short post as I am absolutely trashed from working in the garden for two days in a row. When I mean work, I of course mean raking, digging, carrying heavy stuff around and today crawling on the ground pulling up weeds. And although it is very gratifying work I am watching the now cloudy sky with some kind of hidden agenda that it might start raining and I can have a rest tomorrow.
Anyway food of the week is one of my personal favorite dishes of all time; Sushi. Now I know what you are thinking, I don't like raw fish and isn't it hard to make?
As to the making of the sushi there are a lot of rolling guides on youtube and various other places that can show you the basics. Everyone has a different way of rolling and it is a just a matter of jumping into it and finding out what works for you.
The raw fish can be avoided by using a number of other combinations. In our house we have our personal favorites (husband does still not eat raw fish) We stick to making the closed rolls as they are easy to manage, but have made in-side out ones and nigiris as well. We always use cucumber in ours.
Ideas for filling:
- smoked salmon, avocado, cream cheese or wasabi mayo.
- marinated smoked salmon (marinate in soy, lime, sesame oil), avocado and cream cheese.
- Pickled beetroot
- Canned tuna stirred with a tiny bit of yogurt and optional caviar.
- Sauteed carrots
- Cheddar or feta
Anyway food of the week is one of my personal favorite dishes of all time; Sushi. Now I know what you are thinking, I don't like raw fish and isn't it hard to make?
As to the making of the sushi there are a lot of rolling guides on youtube and various other places that can show you the basics. Everyone has a different way of rolling and it is a just a matter of jumping into it and finding out what works for you.
The raw fish can be avoided by using a number of other combinations. In our house we have our personal favorites (husband does still not eat raw fish) We stick to making the closed rolls as they are easy to manage, but have made in-side out ones and nigiris as well. We always use cucumber in ours.
Ideas for filling:
- smoked salmon, avocado, cream cheese or wasabi mayo.
- marinated smoked salmon (marinate in soy, lime, sesame oil), avocado and cream cheese.
- Pickled beetroot
- Canned tuna stirred with a tiny bit of yogurt and optional caviar.
- Sauteed carrots
- Cheddar or feta
Only real advice I have for people; make sure you have a very very sharp knife to cut the buggers as they otherwise collapse. Have fun with it, it has sure brought lots of giggles into our household.
Saturday 2 March 2013
Silly Saturday
Silly Saturday with a serious message. I have someone in my writing group suggesting that everyone should join in on her webpage and release a chapter of their new book every month until done... For free of course. So not only would she generate massive attention for her own things (which she does not put online) but we would get no pay for our work. To this I have found the following picture:
Wednesday 27 February 2013
World-food Wedensday. Soup soup soup and some cake.
It is no secret that living in the cold north I have months on end where I am pretty much addicted to root veggies in any kind of food. I love the little buggers. Mostly they just get washed/peeled and stuffed in the oven with oil and garlic but sometimes I like to experiment a little bit. Also combined with this was the fact that my bestie was visiting us on Friday and I felt like spoiling her with a 3-course meal that wouldn't cost the world. So I set out to plan a full meal with minimum cost, kicked the husband out of the kitchen and gave him one task; to take pictures of the food. While he did manage to snap a few good ones of me and the bestie he forgot the food. So you will have to look at me only:
Our menu ended up looking like this:
Starter: Potato blinis with smoked and marinated salmon, Greek yoghurt and finely chopped onions. I won't share the recipe for the potato blinis with you as it turned out more like plate sized pancakes with a weird consistency (nothing wrong with the flavour though), but the salmon was marinated in sesame oil, soy, lime juice and garlic and turned out really well. Even husband who doesn't like smoked salmon was nuts about it.
Main: Cheesy cauliflower and carrot soup with roasted Sarrano ham and homemade bread.
Now this is a dish that I have adapted from an old Jamie Oliver show and it has been hiding out in my food binder for years until I got a new cook-book by Mr. Oliver and it was there again! My husband thinks that I have an unhealthy obsession with cauliflower but it is much more versatile than people give it credit for. We use it for millet-cauliflower mash (as a healthier alternative to mashed potato and also a remnant of the first year of our relationship and my husband being a vegetarian) or as a main ingredient in curries.
To make this soup you will need for 4 people:
2 carrots.
2 sticks of cellery (can be left out if you as us have either allergies or just don't like the taste)
2 onions
2 cloves of garlic.
100-200 grams of cheddar depending how much you love your cheese. Do yourself a favour and get a decent one as it adds so much flavour to the soup.
800 grams of cauliflower (one large)
2 cubes of stock unless you are fancy and make your own.
Spices to your liking (would recommend at least chilli oil/sauce to give it a kick and stay back on the salt depending on which cheese or meat you use.)
1 tsp of mustard.
Meat or vegetable garnish of your choice and bread are optional but highly recommended.
Prep carrots and sellery and dice. Prep onions and chop them in medium sized cubes. Chop the garlic finely. Cut the cauliflower into 1½ cm thick slices to ease the cooking time. Heat up 2 tbsp of oliveoil in a large pot and cook the vegetables without lid for 10 mins on medium heat or until the onions turn a light brown and carrots are soft, but not mushy. Boil 1 3/4 liter of water and add stock. Add to the pot. Get it to boiling and then let it simmer with lid for 10 mins.
Remove the pot from the heat and add cheese, mustard and spices. Blend and serve with the garnish of your choice.
Dessert: Strawberry and chocolate Mille feuille which looks something like the cake below.
Our menu ended up looking like this:
Starter: Potato blinis with smoked and marinated salmon, Greek yoghurt and finely chopped onions. I won't share the recipe for the potato blinis with you as it turned out more like plate sized pancakes with a weird consistency (nothing wrong with the flavour though), but the salmon was marinated in sesame oil, soy, lime juice and garlic and turned out really well. Even husband who doesn't like smoked salmon was nuts about it.
Main: Cheesy cauliflower and carrot soup with roasted Sarrano ham and homemade bread.
Now this is a dish that I have adapted from an old Jamie Oliver show and it has been hiding out in my food binder for years until I got a new cook-book by Mr. Oliver and it was there again! My husband thinks that I have an unhealthy obsession with cauliflower but it is much more versatile than people give it credit for. We use it for millet-cauliflower mash (as a healthier alternative to mashed potato and also a remnant of the first year of our relationship and my husband being a vegetarian) or as a main ingredient in curries.
To make this soup you will need for 4 people:
2 carrots.
2 sticks of cellery (can be left out if you as us have either allergies or just don't like the taste)
2 onions
2 cloves of garlic.
100-200 grams of cheddar depending how much you love your cheese. Do yourself a favour and get a decent one as it adds so much flavour to the soup.
800 grams of cauliflower (one large)
2 cubes of stock unless you are fancy and make your own.
Spices to your liking (would recommend at least chilli oil/sauce to give it a kick and stay back on the salt depending on which cheese or meat you use.)
1 tsp of mustard.
Meat or vegetable garnish of your choice and bread are optional but highly recommended.
Prep carrots and sellery and dice. Prep onions and chop them in medium sized cubes. Chop the garlic finely. Cut the cauliflower into 1½ cm thick slices to ease the cooking time. Heat up 2 tbsp of oliveoil in a large pot and cook the vegetables without lid for 10 mins on medium heat or until the onions turn a light brown and carrots are soft, but not mushy. Boil 1 3/4 liter of water and add stock. Add to the pot. Get it to boiling and then let it simmer with lid for 10 mins.
Remove the pot from the heat and add cheese, mustard and spices. Blend and serve with the garnish of your choice.
Dessert: Strawberry and chocolate Mille feuille which looks something like the cake below.
These puppies are complicated business and although I was not quite happy with the outcome they tasted very nice and posh. They were also the single most expensive item on the menu, but so totally worth it.
Monday 25 February 2013
Music Monday and Oscar night hang-overs.
Morning people.
I'm pretty much not awake while writing this after having spent all night watching the Oscars which for people in our neck of the woods means staying up until at least 6.am to see the "big ones."
We did an Oscar ballot and out of 24 categories I only managed to guess 9, so safe to say that I don't always agree with the jury about which movies are art and which ones are just... well American propaganda.
For those who did not watch it here are some results for you:
Oh and seeing as it is Music Monday and it is little over a month until Game of Thrones season 3 premieres (March 31st) here is a little friendly banter from one author to the next ;)
Write like the wind!
I'm pretty much not awake while writing this after having spent all night watching the Oscars which for people in our neck of the woods means staying up until at least 6.am to see the "big ones."
We did an Oscar ballot and out of 24 categories I only managed to guess 9, so safe to say that I don't always agree with the jury about which movies are art and which ones are just... well American propaganda.
For those who did not watch it here are some results for you:
Oh and seeing as it is Music Monday and it is little over a month until Game of Thrones season 3 premieres (March 31st) here is a little friendly banter from one author to the next ;)
Write like the wind!
Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Alan Arkin in "Argo"
Robert De Niro in "Silver Linings Playbook"
Philip Seymour Hoffman in "The Master"
Tommy Lee Jones in "Lincoln"
* Christoph Waltz in "Django Unchained"
Robert De Niro in "Silver Linings Playbook"
Philip Seymour Hoffman in "The Master"
Tommy Lee Jones in "Lincoln"
* Christoph Waltz in "Django Unchained"
Best Animated Short Film
"Adam and Dog," Minkyu Lee
"Fresh Guacamole," PES
"Head Over Heels," Timothy Reckart and Fodhla Cronin O'Reilly
"Maggie Simpson in 'The Longest Daycare,' " David Silverman
* "Paperman," John Kahrs
"Fresh Guacamole," PES
"Head Over Heels," Timothy Reckart and Fodhla Cronin O'Reilly
"Maggie Simpson in 'The Longest Daycare,' " David Silverman
* "Paperman," John Kahrs
Best Animated Feature Film of the Year
* "Brave," Mark Andrews and Brenda Chapman
"Frankenweenie," Tim Burton
"ParaNorman," Sam Fell and Chris Butler
"The Pirates! Band of Misfits," Peter Lord
"Wreck-It Ralph," Rich Moore
"Frankenweenie," Tim Burton
"ParaNorman," Sam Fell and Chris Butler
"The Pirates! Band of Misfits," Peter Lord
"Wreck-It Ralph," Rich Moore
Best Foreign-Language Film
* "Amour," Austria
"Kon-Tiki," Norway
"No," Chile
"A Royal Affair," Denmark
"War Witch," Canada
"Kon-Tiki," Norway
"No," Chile
"A Royal Affair," Denmark
"War Witch," Canada
Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Amy Adams in "The Master"
Sally Field in "Lincoln"
* Anne Hathaway in "Les Miserables"
Helen Hunt in "The Sessions"
Jacki Weaver in "Silver Linings Playbook"
Sally Field in "Lincoln"
* Anne Hathaway in "Les Miserables"
Helen Hunt in "The Sessions"
Jacki Weaver in "Silver Linings Playbook"
Adapted Screenplay
* "Argo," screenplay by Chris Terrio
"Beasts of the Southern Wild," screenplay by Lucy Alibar & Benh Zeitlin
"Life of Pi," screenplay by David Magee
"Lincoln," screenplay by Tony Kushner
"Silver Linings Playbook," screenplay by David O. Russell
"Beasts of the Southern Wild," screenplay by Lucy Alibar & Benh Zeitlin
"Life of Pi," screenplay by David Magee
"Lincoln," screenplay by Tony Kushner
"Silver Linings Playbook," screenplay by David O. Russell
Original Screenplay
"Amour," written by Michael Haneke
* "Django Unchained," written by Quentin Tarantino
"Flight," written by John Gatins
"Moonrise Kingdom," written by Wes Anderson & Roman Coppola
"Zero Dark Thirty," written by Mark Boal
* "Django Unchained," written by Quentin Tarantino
"Flight," written by John Gatins
"Moonrise Kingdom," written by Wes Anderson & Roman Coppola
"Zero Dark Thirty," written by Mark Boal
Achievement in Directing
"Amour," Michael Haneke
"Beasts of the Southern Wild," Benh Zeitlin
* "Life of Pi," Ang Lee
"Lincoln," Steven Spielberg
"Silver Linings Playbook," David O. Russell
"Beasts of the Southern Wild," Benh Zeitlin
* "Life of Pi," Ang Lee
"Lincoln," Steven Spielberg
"Silver Linings Playbook," David O. Russell
Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Jessica Chastain in "Zero Dark Thirty"
* Jennifer Lawrence in "Silver Linings Playbook"
Emmanuelle Riva in "Amour"
Quvenzhane Wallis in "Beasts of the Southern Wild"
Naomi Watts in "The Impossible"
* Jennifer Lawrence in "Silver Linings Playbook"
Emmanuelle Riva in "Amour"
Quvenzhane Wallis in "Beasts of the Southern Wild"
Naomi Watts in "The Impossible"
Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Bradley Cooper in "Silver Linings Playbook"
* Daniel Day-Lewis in "Lincoln"
Hugh Jackman in "Les Miserables"
Joaquin Phoenix in "The Master"
Denzel Washington in "Flight"
* Daniel Day-Lewis in "Lincoln"
Hugh Jackman in "Les Miserables"
Joaquin Phoenix in "The Master"
Denzel Washington in "Flight"
Best Motion Picture
"Amour," Margaret Menegoz, Stefan Arndt, Veit Heiduschka and Michael Katz, producers
* "Argo," Grant Heslov, Ben Affleck and George Clooney, producers
"Beasts of the Southern Wild," Dan Janvey, Josh Penn and Michael Gottwald, producers
"Django Unchained," Stacey Sher, Reginald Hudlin and Pilar Savone, producers
"Les Miserables," Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner, Debra Hayward and Cameron Mackintosh, producers
"Life of Pi," Gil Netter, Ang Lee and David Womark, producers
"Lincoln," Steven Spielberg and Kathleen Kennedy, producers
"Silver Linings Playbook," Donna Gigliotti, Bruce Cohen and Jonathan Gordon, producers
"Zero Dark Thirty," Mark Boal, Kathryn Bigelow and Megan Ellison, producers
* "Argo," Grant Heslov, Ben Affleck and George Clooney, producers
"Beasts of the Southern Wild," Dan Janvey, Josh Penn and Michael Gottwald, producers
"Django Unchained," Stacey Sher, Reginald Hudlin and Pilar Savone, producers
"Les Miserables," Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner, Debra Hayward and Cameron Mackintosh, producers
"Life of Pi," Gil Netter, Ang Lee and David Womark, producers
"Lincoln," Steven Spielberg and Kathleen Kennedy, producers
"Silver Linings Playbook," Donna Gigliotti, Bruce Cohen and Jonathan Gordon, producers
"Zero Dark Thirty," Mark Boal, Kathryn Bigelow and Megan Ellison, producers
Wednesday 20 February 2013
World-food Wednesday; Salad time.
It's food time! Welcome to the first installment of the recipe sharing part of my blog. As some people might know I am pretty obsessed with food and pretty much abide to the saying that some people eat to live and others live to eat. I love cooking, reading about food and of course eating it as well. (Walking the flab-be-gone path)
This week has been all about the cooking and enjoying nice food because the hubby is off for school vacation which has given us plenty of time to concentrate on matters close to my heart. So far this week I have made garlic and chili oil for the pantry, homemade sugared bread crumbs and baked twice. I have categorized two cooking books and almost decided on throwing out my Jamie Oliver book as it is pretty much primary school material. We also went on a field trip to scout out some competition for our dream business and had lunch at Themsens http://www.themsens.dk/ which I would rate as average. I am not a food snob, but I sometimes wish that the atmosphere and the food fit together a bit better. The restaurant in itself is cosy enough and gives off a vibe of homeliness to a point, but the food is very posh and modern.
Anyway.
This week's recipe is for a simple light salad thrown together as a last resort with whatever we had lying around (that happens surprisingly often around here). As the pictures indicate we ate it in a very rustic style, but of course you can clean it up a bit.
Duckbreast on a salad base.
For two people I used:
1 duck breast.
400 g of spinach
1 grapefruit
4 slices of Prosciutto (or bacon if you are not looking for a lean option)
50 g of cheddar (any hard cheese will do)
10 olives.
1 tablespoon of homemade garlic oil + a couple of garlic cloves each (can be left out and replaced by normal oil or butter)
Method:
Wash and drain your spinach and place it on a plate.
Spice up duck and fry it for 2-3 mins on each side on a hot pan starting with skin-side down. Grease or oil-up an oven-proof dish. Cook duck for 7-10 mins depending on how well-done you want it in a preheated oven.
Slice and fry up your Prosciutto.
Cut your cheddar and olives into bite-sized pieces.
Peel your grapefruit like you would peel an orange and removed the flesh of the grapefruit from the skin.
Arrange on your plate.
Take the duck out of the oven and let it rest for 4 mins, preferably with some tinfoil to keep the heat in. Slice and divide into portions.
See you on Friday for fiction time!
Monday 18 February 2013
Music Monday
Here is the music video for this week. It is the newly released Amanda Palmer and the Grand Theft Orchestra re-vamped version of The Bed Song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sW4dwXXX7Q
Peace out comrades.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sW4dwXXX7Q
Peace out comrades.
A new start.
New blog?
Yes indeed.
Why?
Let me tell you (insert ramble)
As a follower of Amanda Palmer's blog site it has been interesting to see the reactions of people when she started an open discussion about bullying and how it sometimes ends in tragedy when the victims can no longer stand to be a part of this world.
My own story would probably echo many others from the comments on her blog; lonely child who was bullied for my appearance, my family history, my accent, my lack of social skills and my love for anything considered a bit weird (RPG's, marching bands, literature ) It went on for most of my child-hood and my father only reacted to it once it became psychical with one boy in particular beating me up and dragging me through the class-room by my hair in front of the teachers who did nothing. It severely affected the way I acted at boarding school and high school. I was convinced that if people knew who I really was and how I felt they would mock me even more so I stayed away and only interacted with the other "weirdos". When I became an active Larper I entered a whole new world of being acknowledged for who I was but at the same time it was my secret world that I didn't share with more than a few select people. I quickly found that I could be myself around these new friends because they didn't judge me for being wacky. I have met a lot of amazing people through the Larp community and the last 10 years has shown me that it is okay to share emotions with other people that are not your immediate family. I thought I was grown up enough to put a distance between me and bullying for good, even joking that if I ever won an Oscar or any other great prize I would thank everyone who had ever mocked me, bullied me or otherwise made my life hell for being the main reason behind me inventing fantasy worlds. It was all behind me right?
Well it turned out it wasn't.
And when it happened again in my adult life I was just hit that much harder for believing that it was all over years ago.
This time the bullying came in the form of mental warfare from 20 grown men who thought that if they pushed me enough I would leave my job and everything could go back to how it was before. And they succeeded. From completely stone walling me to questioning every bit of my authority over them, they managed to push me to a place where I never wanted to find myself again. So I quit. I have had a few people tell me already that I was being to sensitive and that it probably wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. Maybe if I didn't have my back-ground I would agree with them and maybe I would have fought harder, but with years of experience in this field I knew it was only a matter of time before my students would have had to watch me break down in front of them and I wanted out before it came to that.
So here we are on the other side with a few more scars and a whole bunch of knowledge about myself and where my limits are. Time for a fresh start and to dream again (something that the people at my job center don't really encourage) about the possibilities the future might hold. I need my happiness back without having to fight for every little ounce of it. Somewhere in the process between student and I have learned a lot about myself and what challenges I might still face and the dream was always there in the back of my mind. Maybe someday I will share it with the internet, but for now it is between me and a select few people.
So after this rather long blog-post I want to say welcome! Welcome to a new section of my life and career that you will all have the chance to follow. My blog schedule (heavily borrowed from my good friend Mr. Scott http://www.shavenwookiee.wordpress.com) Is as follows:
Music Monday: Youtube clips with new, old, fascinating or just interesting music.
World-food Wednesday: Sharing recipies, ideas for cooking and pictures of jummy food production by yours truly.
Fiction Friday: Sharing my stories, reviews of other people's work, progress reports etc.
Silly Saturday: Put on a silly hat and join me in the world of Grumpy Cat, wacky anecdotes and random stand-up.
I will try as a standard to have the blogs up by 18.00 (CET +1) In between these scheduled things I might of course also put things up, but as a rule of thumb these are the 4 main days.
See you on the flip side comrades.
Yes indeed.
Why?
Let me tell you (insert ramble)
As a follower of Amanda Palmer's blog site it has been interesting to see the reactions of people when she started an open discussion about bullying and how it sometimes ends in tragedy when the victims can no longer stand to be a part of this world.
My own story would probably echo many others from the comments on her blog; lonely child who was bullied for my appearance, my family history, my accent, my lack of social skills and my love for anything considered a bit weird (RPG's, marching bands, literature ) It went on for most of my child-hood and my father only reacted to it once it became psychical with one boy in particular beating me up and dragging me through the class-room by my hair in front of the teachers who did nothing. It severely affected the way I acted at boarding school and high school. I was convinced that if people knew who I really was and how I felt they would mock me even more so I stayed away and only interacted with the other "weirdos". When I became an active Larper I entered a whole new world of being acknowledged for who I was but at the same time it was my secret world that I didn't share with more than a few select people. I quickly found that I could be myself around these new friends because they didn't judge me for being wacky. I have met a lot of amazing people through the Larp community and the last 10 years has shown me that it is okay to share emotions with other people that are not your immediate family. I thought I was grown up enough to put a distance between me and bullying for good, even joking that if I ever won an Oscar or any other great prize I would thank everyone who had ever mocked me, bullied me or otherwise made my life hell for being the main reason behind me inventing fantasy worlds. It was all behind me right?
Well it turned out it wasn't.
And when it happened again in my adult life I was just hit that much harder for believing that it was all over years ago.
This time the bullying came in the form of mental warfare from 20 grown men who thought that if they pushed me enough I would leave my job and everything could go back to how it was before. And they succeeded. From completely stone walling me to questioning every bit of my authority over them, they managed to push me to a place where I never wanted to find myself again. So I quit. I have had a few people tell me already that I was being to sensitive and that it probably wasn't as bad as I made it out to be. Maybe if I didn't have my back-ground I would agree with them and maybe I would have fought harder, but with years of experience in this field I knew it was only a matter of time before my students would have had to watch me break down in front of them and I wanted out before it came to that.
So here we are on the other side with a few more scars and a whole bunch of knowledge about myself and where my limits are. Time for a fresh start and to dream again (something that the people at my job center don't really encourage) about the possibilities the future might hold. I need my happiness back without having to fight for every little ounce of it. Somewhere in the process between student and I have learned a lot about myself and what challenges I might still face and the dream was always there in the back of my mind. Maybe someday I will share it with the internet, but for now it is between me and a select few people.
So after this rather long blog-post I want to say welcome! Welcome to a new section of my life and career that you will all have the chance to follow. My blog schedule (heavily borrowed from my good friend Mr. Scott http://www.shavenwookiee.wordpress.com) Is as follows:
Music Monday: Youtube clips with new, old, fascinating or just interesting music.
World-food Wednesday: Sharing recipies, ideas for cooking and pictures of jummy food production by yours truly.
Fiction Friday: Sharing my stories, reviews of other people's work, progress reports etc.
Silly Saturday: Put on a silly hat and join me in the world of Grumpy Cat, wacky anecdotes and random stand-up.
I will try as a standard to have the blogs up by 18.00 (CET +1) In between these scheduled things I might of course also put things up, but as a rule of thumb these are the 4 main days.
See you on the flip side comrades.
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